Defy the Lie
Sister Circle’s Entry for 2019 Challenge Into Change
In 2019, Sister Circle entered Challenge Into Change as a group, taking the charge from the Community Healing Network’s mission to Defy the Lie, which is defined by them as "correcting the negative impact of inter-generational trauma caused by enslavement and continuing racism, we are mobilizing Black people to 'defy the lie and embrace the truth.'"
This collective piece is a collage of our truth.
“As Black women, we are told we are not beautiful, smart or feminine — I show up as I am. Natural hair, big hips, and I’m smart. I lift my voice without shame.”
“I’ve been told I look better with straight hair. I was told that I couldn’t wear my hair a certain way when I’m at work, it's not professional to wear my hair big in a workplace. I style my hair however I want.”
“I’ve been told as a big Black woman I need to lose weight, or no one will hire me. Well, I got a job, a job I love.”
“I was told I was not smart enough to attend college. Now I have my master's.”
“When I was 14, my stepfather told me that I would amount to nothing, and that I would get pregnant by a loser and drop out of school. Fourteen years later, I have my PhD, a wonderful partner, and three beautiful children. I have people who love me, a job that allows me to advocate for the communities I care about, and I continue to heal from my abusive past.”
“A lie that I was told as a Black woman is that we are not college material. We would not amount to anything. As a single mother, I put myself through school with student loans to prove to myself and kids that you can do anything you set your mind to with God before me. Never give up on your dreams; if it is in your heart, shoot for the stars. Trusting in believing I can do all things through Christ who strengthen me.”
“A lie I’ve been told is Black women don’t have the same frailty as white women. I feel there was an expectation that after having my child I should immediately go back to work. Like a workhorse expected to return to the field and keep going. That’s not the case, I have the same right to frailty as anyone. I can stay home with my child during his first year, or on a sick day, I have that permission. I have permission to be tired, the right to get sick, to need a break, and take time for myself. As a Black woman, I have the right to a normal life, not always having to be strong.”
“The lie I was told was that we are bossy and intimidating. Rather, we are determined, goal oriented, and willing to fight for what we believe in. That does not make us bossy — others are seen as strong and powerful when they possess those traits. We need to ignore the talk and keep fighting for what we deserve.”
“A lie I was told is that a darker complexion is not desirable. That it is ugly, dangerous, unattractive, and not preferred by men or for magazines and big screens. I defy the lie by embracing the beauty of my brown skin, the skin I nurture with cocoa butter, the way I wear my 4C natural hair, the colors of fabrics that emphasize the complexity and deep richness of my skin tone. I look in the mirror and see beauty look back. I see my mother’s face.”
“My lie was that my Black body and curves are not beautiful, they are less pleasing. I defy the lie by embracing the power of those curves, muscles; the strength, purpose. We were not meant to survive, these Black bodies have survived, persevered. They are strong enough to carry the ancestors; my Black body represented mother of mankind, while nurturing the future; holding up while reaching for the sun that beats within and shines down to illuminate my black, beautiful, strong with purpose, nurturing, phenomenal body. These are my thoughts when I run and express my pleasing black body.”